HOW TO GET HIM BACK

The issues most ladies write to me about is that guy they love has suddenly pulled away - sometimes for good. If you've experienced this or are going through it right now and you want to get your boyfriend back, you know how painful, hopeless and frustrating it feels.

Your first instinct is an urge to lean forward and do whatever you can to keep your man from slipping away. And I'm going to tell you that you need to let him go, as horrible as this sounds. You need to let him go, because if he is the right man for you, you can get your boyfriend back

With steps I'm about to go into. If he's NOT the right man for you, then here's the news you will appreciate down the road when you DO meet Mr. Right - he did you a favor by going away, and you learned something incredibly valuable in the process. So here are my three steps on how to get your boyfriend back:

Step 1: Spare Him

The very first thing you need to do to get him back is stop , resist or destroy  the powerful urge to run after him, call him, text him, send messages to him via friends and family, or show up at his door. As I said above, this is going to feel really difficult, but you MUST do it if there is any hope that you will get your boyfriend back.

We women tend to think that giving and giving to a man will bring him closer. And this includes doing things like checking up on him to see how he's doing. It's what I call “over functioning”. Don't do it! A man is accustomed to valuing what he has to work for, so if you put in effort and make it easy for him, he will actually value you less. We work hard because we think that if we don't he'll assume we don't care enough about him, and he'll go away. But this is simply untrue. If you lean back and let go of that, you give your boyfriend the chance to see what it feels like to be without you, and if he's worth it you will get your boyfriend back. Remember this: men commit to you not because they want to be with a woman, but because they can't stand to be WITHOUT you. Let him feel what it's like NOT to have you in his life.

The question of how to bring him back when he is slipping away is one women wish they had an answer to when they can feel a growing distance between them and the man they love. We all have an inner instinct when it comes to the man we're with. Subtle changes in him can be enough to make us start to worry that he's not as interested as he once was. Perhaps he is busier more than he used to be or he criticizes you whereas before he was only full of compliments. Any change like this shouldn't go unnoticed. It certainly means that his feelings aren't as intense as they used to be. Unless you act now, he may drift so far away that the relationship won't be able to be saved. Don’t be afraid to lose a relationship

Understanding how to bring him back when he is slipping away is all about recreating the same addiction he had for you early in your relationship. Most women don't recognize that in order to keep a relationship alive you have to ensure your man is always interested. One easy way to accomplish this is to focus on the qualities in you that he found so stimulating when you first met. Maybe he loved you because you were so passionate about your work or he was drawn to you because you were funny. Those qualities can get buried beneath the stresses of life and the woman he fell in love with may have morphed into someone else in his eyes. Rediscover the parts of you that he loved so much.

Step 2: Open Your Heart

The next thing I want you to do is to stop running from your painful emotions and embrace them. We women tend to stuff down our emotions for fear that a man will get scared by them and run away. But the real truth is that men LOVE our emotional nature - it's drama that they can't tolerate. When we learn to get in touch with our feelings and express them in a non-judging, non-critical way, a man will not feel blamed and will feel COMPELLED to open his heart to you.

And you don't need a man in your life to learn how to do this. Instead, practice “framing your feelings” with everyone you meet and even on your own. Start right now by asking yourself what you feel. Then say it out loud. Say, “I feel shaky,” or “I feel sad,” or “I feel happy just looking at that flower over there.” Practice this everywhere you go and it will become natural to you in days. Then when you talk to the man you love, use this new way of expressing your feelings. You'll notice a miraculous change in the way he connects to you and opens his heart.

Step 3: Love Yourself

Right now, remember how you were when you and your boyfriend first met. Where you obsessing about him? Where you calling him incessantly? Of course not. Chances are, you were focused on your OWN LIFE, and this was very attractive to him.

Take this opportunity to get back in touch with you and fall in love with the woman who attracted him rather than spending your time thinking about how to get your boyfriend back. Get busy with your friends, your interests, and the things that make you YOU. Remember: you can lose a man, but you can NEVER lose yourself. If this man is worthy of you and is the right man for you, I guarantee that when he sees you are focusing on your own life he will realize what he's missing

Keep leaning back, opening your heart, loving yourself… if he's Mr Right, you'll get your boyfriend back.